The Curse Of Being Thirty-Something

You Look Good For 32

Remember being twenty-two in the club, telling thirty-something year olds that they ‘don’t even look that old’?

Then, you blink, and all of a sudden, you are that thirty-something year old. Being told that you look good for your age by a wide-eyed eighteen year old with their jaw on the floor.

To my twenty-year-old self, there was something so unbelievable to me that someone that old was in the club and not at home with their two kids gaining wrinkles and drinking expensive wine.

Sometimes it feels flattering to be on the receiving end of that backhanded compliment. But, other times, it triggers the question: am I too old to be here?

Image taken from Knocked Up

At twenty, it was acceptable to not have a clue. It was encouraged to take a gap year. It was admirable to go travelling. You were told to enjoy being young and not overthink. You didn’t need to have it all figured out.

Then something happens when you hit late twenties. You start getting questions about babies and pensions. You start to look at your friends and wonder how they’re so locked in. You watch them climb the ladder like a Sim, hitting every goalpost and promotion right on schedule. All while you wonder, why isn’t this happening to me?

The Five-Year Plan

Being made redundant on my thirty-second birthday (okay it was two days after but I’m adding drama like a true Leo) dropped me right into the same pool of uncertainty I dived into at eighteen. All of a sudden, I’m back on Teams calls being asked where I see myself five years from now, and I realise it’s been five years since the last time, and I’m even less sure.

Back then, it was easy to think: by the time I’m thirty, I’ll have my life together. Thirty-somethings have it all figured out. They’re confident. They’re responsible. They can’t handle hangovers anymore (that part is true). When Rachel turned thirty in friends, she quickly realised her life wasn’t moving as fast as she’s expected it to, and she’s certainly not alone.

I’ve hit the jackpot in some areas. I have the house, the husband, the cute fluffy child. But I’m still just as uncertain about my five-year plan as I was a decade ago. I’m being asked to picture life at thirty-seven, and I don’t know what it looks like.

It’s Okay Not To Know

But, maybe I don’t want to know. Yes, there are a few certainties (my husband and dog, being two), but when it comes to how I spend my days and where we choose to live? I find the endless possibilities exciting.

To me, there is nothing scarier than complacency, so maybe being made redundant was a blessing. I am being forced to dive back into hobbies I didn’t always find time for — like novel-writing, poetry, and art — and rediscover what truly makes me happy.

I’ve come to realise, that perhaps it is the uncertainty that keeps us going. So, next time I’m asked about my five year plan, I’m taking the pressure off. Whether I’m thirty-two or sixty-two, I still want to feel like anything is possible.

And if you want to feel better about not having your sh*t together, here are three TV shows to watch (or rewatch) in your thirties.

When I was twenty-five, I wrote a very similar blog. Read it here if you’re interested in finding out what (if anything) has changed.